Hey {{ first name | there }}! Welcome back to The Flow by Flocus. If you’re new around here, welcome! 👋 You can catch up on our previous editions right here.
This week: It’s all about productive guilt: why you feel like you “should” be doing more, the reality behind that urge, and how to feel less “behind” on things. Let’s dig in!
😣 What’s Productive Guilt?
The spiral that happens when you feel like you “should” be doing more (or you’re not doing enough, or you’re spending too much time on the “wrong” thing).
It tends to show up as:
🙇♂️ Low-grade yet constant stress: Like a dripping faucet, that nagging feeling that you should be doing something “productive” is constant, annoying, and wasting precious energy.
🫥 Focus leaks and brain fog: Even when you’re working on something “productive”, you might feel easily distracted, or find it impossible to concentrate, because you have other things to take care of.
😤 Moodiness on a holiday or extended break: Guilt doesn’t magically disappear over summer / winter break. Time off can make it even more intense, dampening your mood and interactions in a time when you’re “supposed to be” resting.
These are a just a few signs, and we’re sure you’ll find more if you explore your own response to productive guilt.
Is there anything you can learn from this uninvited guest? And how do you feel less “behind” (even when you’re already on track)? Let’s explore.
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Now, back to productive guilt and what to do about it!
🌸 What Your Guilt is Trying to Tell You
If you’ve been with us for awhile, you’ll know we often tell you to flip your mental scripts to something more compassionate.
The same applies to (and works well for) breaking through your guilt:
Because the truth is, your guilt is trying to protect you.
Your brain may have a funny way of showing it, especially since so much self-criticism is usually attached.
But what if you tried reversing some of those hurtful beliefs? Here are a few examples.
Instead of → try:
“I’m a failure because I’m so behind on everything.” → “I’m a driven, ambitious person who’s doing lots of important, rewarding things.”
“I’m not where I want to be yet and need to work harder.” → “I feel this urge because I want to live my life to its absolute fullest, which is an admirable thing.”
“I don’t really need this much rest; I’m just procrastinating because I’m lazy.” → “I trust that my body will let me know when I’m ready and replenished enough to jump back into my responsibilities.”
These swaps sound simple, but that doesn’t make them easy. Let’s explore 2 more practical things you can do to turn your guilt on its head.
😌 How to Feel Less “Behind”
(We put “behind” in quotes because chances are, you’re not really as behind as you think.)
✍️ Take stock of where you really are
As you contemplate where you are right now, reflect on how far you’ve come, too.
You’ve grown and achieved so much more than you give yourself credit for. Recognizing that truth, and celebrating it, is the point of this step.
A few things to try to gain some perspective (with an accompanying Flow newsletter for each!):
😌 Let it be “good enough”
“Giving 100%” doesn’t mean performing at your absolute max every single day; it means giving however much effort you’re able to.
If your energy levels are at 30%, and you gave your all to caring for yourself and handling your responsibilities?
You technically gave 100%. Because 30% was all you had to offer.
Which means your best efforts, even on your lowest days, really are good enough to keep you moving on the path to a productive life.
Knowing this is only half the battle, though. Remembering it when we need it most is the tricky part.
So practice letting whatever it is you’re doing — from cleaning to working to socializing — simply be “good enough”, instead of “perfect”.
🪅 Flocus Picks
A curated list of things worth sharing.
Why You Feel Guilty About Resting & How to Break the Cycle (Article) — In a society that moves this fast and this furiously, productive guilt isn’t uncommon. This VeryWellMind piece explores how Naydeline transformed her guilt into “productive recovery”
The Truth About Celebrating Yourself That No One Tells You (Video) — This 3-minute clip dives into why “celebration” feels like too heavy of a word, and how to get better at noticing the teensy, everyday wins
happy lofi (Playlist) — A cheerful mix for self-soothing, relaxing, or whatever your day has in store
✨ Flocus: Your Personal Productivity Dashboard
Productive guilt often comes from having too much floating in your head and not enough clarity on what actually needs doing. Flocus keeps your tasks simple and visible. Spend less time feeling behind and more time actually moving forward.
🗳️ POLL: When does productive guilt hit you hardest?
Our brains are really annoying sometimes, aren’t they? They’re supposed to help us survive and thrive, but they’re often really mean to us in the process, for no good reason.
If you’re feeling the guilt this season, we hope you’ll remember this next time it crops up. Gently challenging it will cause it to unravel, and help you feel more at ease as well.
Until next Sunday,
Flocus Team
