Hey {{ first name | there }}! Welcome back to The Flow by Flocus. If you’re new around here, welcome! 👋  You can catch up on our previous editions right here.

This week: “Two things can be true at once.” You’ve almost certainly heard this advice before. Today, we’re exploring what most people get wrong about this fact of life, plus how to get better at balancing notions that seem to contradict each other. Let’s get into it!

If you’ve read our stuff for a while, you’ll know we say this a lot: 2 (or more) seemingly contradictory things can be true at once.

Just realizing when this is relevant to our lives can be hard. Let alone “holding” those multiple truths in our minds and bodies. Why? Well…

Imagine you’re walking down a long hallway holding a very full glass of liquid. If you really picture it, you’re probably walking slowly and taking care not to spill, right?

Alright, now imagine another glass, just as full, in the other hand.

How much slower are you walking now compared to when you just had 1 glass?

This same balancing act applies to real-life truths, too:

The more “truths” we’re holding and balancing at one time, the heavier they are, and the slower it can be to do, move, and heal.

Also, consider the liquid in each glass. Is it toxic gas? Replenishing water? A mix of the two? A full glass of each?

Whatever you’re carrying, you’ve also got extra “stuff” attached — maybe you’re thirsty, maybe you’re looking out for obstacles in your path, maybe you’re afraid of burning yourself if you spill something corrosive.

Either way, you’re not “just carrying” these truths: Your brain is also making up stories about the glasses and your ability to carry them, while your body keeps on doing its primal thing (craving, regulating, etc.).

So, how can you steady yourself and find some middle ground along this journey? Read on to find out.

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Now, here’s how to believe two seemingly contradictory truths!

Some truths become even harder to accept when we bottle them up, keep them in our heads, or run away from them.

If you’ve been running, explore what it would feel like to gently slow down, stop, and turn around to face the truths you’ve been trying to escape.

For now, just name them. Here are some examples of conflicting truths we’ve been holding lately:

By the way, it’s okay if you can’t quite put a name to how you feel yet. Just do your best to describe and express, then gently move on to the next bit.

Imagine each of the truths you’re holding as a literal object — like we did with the glasses of water earlier.

For this step, your truths can be whatever material, shape, or color you like. Get really creative here to understand just how each one’s affecting you.

Examples: Grief as a heavy pendant around your neck / Joy as a rainbow cutting through dark storm clouds

Once you’ve got your objects in mind, consider how heavy they are. Do they drag you down, hold you back, or lift you up? Does one item make another feel lighter, or vice versa?

Now that you’ve “played” with your truths a bit, try setting all of them down, one by one.

This process isn’t like letting go of a helium balloon, where it floats up into outer space, never to return. Quite the contrary: These truths will keep coming back (no matter how much you wish they’d leave you alone).

But each time they do, you can practice this same 3-step exercise. Your results may vary each time — you might feel totally weightless and relaxed after, or you might feel frustrated that the weight of all your truths keeps clinging no matter what you do.

Wherever you land, it’s okay. The point isn’t to remove, fully accept, or even “move on” from these feelings altogether. It’s to help you get better at distancing yourself from life’s biggest, most overbearing lessons when you need a little breathing room.

Just because something is technically true doesn’t mean it’s:

Which means that many “truths” you’ll encounter in life will be of little or no use to you.

Remember this the next time you encounter “brutal” honesty — whether you’re the one dishing out a tough truth, or you’re on the receiving end.

Ask yourself: “This might be true, but is it helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind?” If the answer to any of those others is no, think twice before carrying on.

And if you’re on the receiving end of an unhelpful truth, you can ask the person sharing it the same question to set boundaries for future interactions.

We’ve got a Flocus Pick to help you get better at both 👇

A curated list of things worth sharing.

A lot of reflection happens in the in-between moments, when you just need a calm space to think. Flocus gives you a cozy, ambient home base to slow down, reset, and sit with whatever you’re carrying, without pressure to have it all figured out.

Go to Flocus

Ironically, the fact that we all have to accept multiple conflicting truths is, in itself, an unhelpful truth of life!

As much as it sucks, acceptance is a skill worth mastering. How are you getting on with it? We’re still learning, so if you’re not quite there yet, know we’re all in this together!

What’d you think of this one? We’d love to hear your take — hit reply and sound off!

Until next Sunday,

Flocus Team