Hey {{ first name | there }}! Welcome back to The Flow by Flocus. If you’re new around here, welcome! 👋  You can catch up on our previous editions right here.

This week: Why everyone says “yes” to far more stuff than they can realistically do this time of year, and how to spot it before it takes over. Grab a bite and a bevvy, and settle in for this meaty read!

It’s the first month of the new academic year for students, and professionals are in the last stretch of Q3, with end-of-year business goals bearing down.

This time of year is intense: full of new beginnings, transitions, adjustments, and eye-watering amounts of work to do.

For students, it can look like taking on a bunch of extracurriculars, sports, events, and volunteer work, on top of a full courseload.

And for professionals, it often shows up as saying “yes” to every extra request that comes through the inbox, whether it’s to impress a manager or help out a colleague who’s also swamped.

We don’t always realize when we’ve overcommitted until after the damage is done. How can you get better at recognizing it? And how can you fix it? Read on to find out.

These are just a few signs, but we bet you’ll find loads more if you dig deeper.

Now that you know what overcommitment looks like, what can you do about it? Scroll on for our 4-step process.

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Now, what to do about overcommitment!

Non-negotiables = Your top priorities and things that must happen no matter what

This should not be an excessively long list; it should be limited to the things that really are the most important to you. Because if everything is non-negotiable, then nothing is.

Once you’ve separated the “must-do” stuff, it’s time to start trimming those “extras” from your tasks, projects, and other lists.

For each item, ask yourself:

We tend to overestimate how upset folks will be when we back out of something we previously committed to.

Think back to the last time a friend or family member changed their mind about a commitment they made to you, like a lunch date or an outing. They may have tripped over themselves to apologize, or shared that they feel like a bad friend for changing their mind.

How did you react to that? Chances are it’s not usually a big deal, right? You might’ve said something like, “No worries! We can reschedule when things are calmer for you.”

Of course, for the real big commitments, tricky emotions are bound to come up when things fall through.

That’s why it’s so important to be realistic about the true, most likely impact of saying no (versus overthinking and fretting about how you think the other person will respond).

Show yourself the same compassion you’d show for a friend if the roles were reversed. Consider the absolute worst that could happen, and how likely it is to become reality. (Spoiler: probably not very, for most things!)

This is the hardest part: standing by your “no” when you previously said “yes”.

Because sticking to your word can be so hard to do, assessing the most likely consequences of saying no is so important. Not only will it help you hold your nerve, but it’ll also keep you grounded.

Avoid the temptation to justify your “no” with oversharing or lengthy explanations (unless you’re obligated to provide a reason; even then, it’s okay to share only the amount of details required).

A curated list of things worth sharing.

It's easier to spot overcommitment when you can see everything in one place. Flocus keeps your tasks visible and your workspace calm, so you know what you've actually taken on before it piles up!

Go to Flocus

Overcommitting is quick and easy to do, yet time-consuming and tricky to fix.

The good news is: It’s rarely ever that deep, and people are way more understanding and empathetic than you might expect.

If you do run into trouble, try some of the tips from our Flocus Picks this week, and let us know how you get on 🎈

Until next Sunday,

Flocus Team