🫣 When to Care What People Think

Hey there! Welcome back to The Flow by Flocus. If you’re new around here, welcome! 👋  You can catch up on our previous editions right here.

This week: We’ve got a juicy read for ya! Why “you shouldn’t care what other people think” is bad advice, why you absolutely should care in some situations, and when to safely let go of other people’s opinions.

🫣 Why “You Shouldn’t Care What Others Think” is Bad Advice

This popular phrase is well-intentioned but oversimplified.

There’s a nugget of truth in it: Only you can live your life, so take care not to let others overinfluence it.

But there are definitely times when you should care what others think.

Especially if those people get the final say on whether you get an opportunity you really want.

Plus, humans are social by nature. Our brains and bodies are hard-wired to care what others think of us.

It’s not a flaw to repress or be ashamed of — it’s how we’re designed to work.

But there’s a time and a place for prioritizing the opinions and perceptions of others over our own.

With this in mind, how can you tell when you should care what others think, and when it’s safe to let it all go? Read on to find out!

⚖️ When to Care What Others Think

You should care about other people’s opinions and perceptions of you when:

• Someone’s judgment or decision directly affects the outcome of your goals (e.g., job interview, school application, promotion)

• Collaborating or building relationships where trust matters

• Receiving constructive feedback that helps you grow, adjust, or succeed

🏖️ When to Let It Go

You can safely let go of other people’s perceptions when:

• They come from someone whose values or goals don’t align with yours

• Judgments aren’t based on facts

• They won’t matter in 5 minutes, let alone 5 years

Now that you know when to let go, let’s take a look at how.

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Now, here’s how to let go of others’ opinions!

🎈 How to (Actually) Let it Go

It’s one thing to say you’ll let go of someone else’s opinion of you — but it’s another to actually do it. Here’s how you can get better at it.

🗺️ Explore how you feel

There’s probably a very good reason why you care what a particular person thinks of you.

Your reason might be as simple as wanting someone to view you a certain way because you respect or admire them. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Whatever your reason, identifying it will help you move through it. From there, you can give an appropriate weight to the other person’s POV.

🔬 Know where it’s coming from

Does this person actually feel the way you think they do? Did they say it to you explicitly? Or did you imply or assume based on partial info?

Because our minds are really good at inventing wild stories about the worst-case scenarios, it’s important to learn the difference between real and perceived slights.

When in doubt about the opinion of someone whose view matters to you, review your communication skills so you can ask for direct clarification.

🤝 Try acceptance

You know how they say to “sit with” your feelings? That means accepting them instead of trying to fight or run away.

And “accepting” means observing those emotions and sensations with curiosity. Not only will this bring clarity and relief, but it will also make it easier to let go of any anxiety you’re holding onto.

🔁 Practice, practice, practice

Tricky emotions attached to others’ perceptions of you are like a boomerang — they tend to keep coming back.

So keep letting them go, as many times as you need to.

This is hard to do, but just keep trying your best. The more you practice, the better you’ll get, and the more automatic it will become.

🪅 Flocus Picks

A curated list of things worth sharing.

• 7 Psychology Tips for Making a Good First Impression (Video) — If you’re worried about how someone will see you after a first encounter, here are some tips for making a memorable, lasting impression

• oceancore lofi (playlist) — This quick 1-hour playlist will soothe the waves of your soul during those difficult reflection sessions

• How to Stop Obsessing Over What Others Think of You (Article) — More tips and tactics on how to give appropriate weight to other people’s opinions of you

✨ Flocus: Your Personal Productivity Dashboard

Whether you’re dealing with judgment, feedback, or expectations, having a daily space to center yourself helps. Flocus is your calm corner of the internet to reflect, recharge, and reconnect with your own priorities!

Go to Flocus

“You shouldn’t care what others think” is decent advice with a dash of wisdom — but it doesn’t fit every situation.

The next time you find yourself fretting over what someone thinks of you, we hope you’ll remember these tips!

Until next Sunday,

Flocus Team